Wednesday 4 July 2012

A Friends Shared Heartache

My convo with a friend about our experiences with stupid men. This also showcases the sensitivities of being a women.

Me:
"Oh I'm glad you have and being honest is good (which I'm trying to do in my own situation by coming out with my feelings)! Hahaa I laugh at your comment about feeling good at telling him he was being a cunt! 
Oh dear S**, like I keep saying emotions are so funny and complicated. Guess what I did last night!?
I thought I'd be romantic myself and visit P***, but fucking hell that failed!! I was on my way and texted him...
"Guess what I'm on my way to see you!! Tell me whether I should turn back round or not..."
He tells me he needs an early night blah blah. Urgh!!! It was only 9:30pm! And I was only half an hour away.
Anyway that disappointed me. I got to his place anyway and gave his buttons through his letterbox! I could see his bedroom light was off so I didn't bother calling for him. Oh that he doesn't know what's good for him!
Quite disappointed really. And earlier today all he could text was 
"I got my parcel today... thank you very much for the buttons I can't believe how many they are!"
That's it!?? Really? 
Well we shall talk more about our funny stories with cunts on Saturday. I will be free to talk then. 

xx"


S**:
"Thanks for your email.

I actually managed to see O******* yesterday and I got my upset and disappointment out on him. I think that he is very much aware of his actions, but just doesn't know how to control them. He also is the type of person to live in the moment of something and get caught up, so his mind isn't straight with what he feels and what is right. Not that I'm trying to make up any excuses for him, but it is hard to just cut someone out of your life when they mean a lot to you, despite their 'fuck-ups'. In a way, if I can't move on in a positive way from this, then how would I expect A**** do to the same with him and I.

Anyways, as I always say, I can only be honest and open and tell someone how I feel, which is what I felt I did. Because as much as he is very aware of how much he has hurt me (by the way, I did tell him he was being a cunt, which felt somewhat good to do), I still want him in my life. I still want to hang out and speak to him and continue to have a friendship. But I also made it clear and said that I already find it very hard to trust people and in result to his actions, moving forward from here will now make me question how much of a level of a friend I can be with him. As in, for me to confide in him and be close enough to maybe be hurt again. So he is aware and hope that he does take it on board, which it seems he did.

And as for this other women he has been seeing, from what he has told me, he said he has not said anything to her. But she has been constantly questioning him and people that he hangs around with. And when mentioning my name, as of late, he hasn't denied anything, but he hasn't said anything either. So I guess, what my friend S*** has told me is that she has her suspicions but I don't truly think she is 100% sure, as nothing was every really confirmed on that front. So I am just not going to say anything to S*** anymore, as she is the friend in between the 2 of us and I don't know if I can trust her not to say or lead something on.

Well, I also just wanted to say thank you so much for being here in this tough time for me. I can't tell you how much I really appreciate you being around for me to talk to.

Let me know if you can speak on Saturday, as I'm flying out on the Sunday. XXX"

I'm very proud of my circle of friends, in that we can always confine in each other.

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