Lust to Love: 2015

So I'm on my flight to Seattle and I just started reading Fifty Shades of Grey which my colleague kindly forwarded me all ebook trilogy. I never had any plans in reading the books after its popularity that made it a world wide best seller and recently had its much anticipated movie hitting the box office. This book has had some women all over the world hooked on its raunchiness which has heightened women's sexual liberation to a bit of bondage. I've heard mixed reviews and the not so good ones that influenced my neglect in reading them are from my sexually liberated acquaintances on social media.

I guess now it's making me want to pursue writing my eDiary more often because I can provide another insight to a woman's redez-vous with men. I would not consider myself experienced in this field however, to be honest I don't want to either as that would be tethering into being a bit of a slut right!?

The first chapter in the book introduces Anastacia driving to Seattle to interview Mr Grey. Haha I giggled to myself on the plane as its weirdly coincidental that I'm flying to Seattle right this moment. Not to meet and interview Mr Grey mind, but... oh how I wish I'm going to be whisked off by some handsome rich man on my arrival. Ha. Reality is quite different to any novels. But this here, is my reality.

CHAPTER C : The Boy

Right now a couple of things to mention. I want to talk about my recent endeavor with C******. As I feel this has been my recent excitement and disappointment. And now I'm hoping a new excitement is around the corner... by the way I've had a recent match on Happn with this 'French smoothie' M***** who is some investor, start-up guy and upon doing a bit of online stalking he is quite accomplished in his field!! Ooh could he be my Mr Grey!?! Ha. A bout of excitement filled me when as soon as I liked him we became a match or a 'crush' in Happn terms. He is relatively good looking, rather. And my age.
"Entertain him. He's your age." prompted my friend F****.
"Forget about C******, he's still a boy." she added.

I left it for a week because I wasn't sure where my interaction with C****** was leading, or not leading. Now that nothing has happened I decided to reach out to Mr M***** yesterday to say
"Hey, how are you?"

Well since leaving London this afternoon I've had no reply! Hmm, okay. I noticed he had been online a few times since yesterday so who knows. Does this damn chat thing work anymore?! Or maybe he is just not into me.

Anyway. I'll leave that for the time being. Nothing might result from it after all.

So back to C****** and our first meeting. It was at Waterloo station and after a few exchanges of text on where and when to meet. I texted just before hand...

"Actually Waterloo is a big place so let's meet in front of platform 20 rail station. x"

"Cool see you in a bit." Was his quick response.

I was heading straight from work and I managed to just get there on the dot. I managed to just be on time and see the clock station strike at precisely 7pm. As I entered the station from exit 5, I spotted him stood very tall and slender between platform 20 & 21 with his back against me. I swayed past people and wanted to playfully surprise him from behind but then I quickly changed my mind because there was a possibility it might not have been him! As I got close and about to get his attention he turned around and - voila! All smiles around.

"Hey!"

"How are you? Nice to meet you." Was synchronously uttered from the both of us.

"Yeah finally!" I somewhat exclaimed.

First thought 'Oh he is cute, more so in real life.' And secondly 'Nicely dressed too.'
He looked quite mysterious in all his smart casual black attire which also complemented my all black quite nicely. Oh my gosh he is tall! We gave each other a quick embrace. He lent down and I reached up. I wore my highest heels on this particular meet because I knew from his photos that he is tall as he was the tallest amongst his friends. I later learnt that he is 6 foot 4 inches tall. If in real life he happened to be your average height then it'd be quite disconcerting to say then that all of his friends would have been midgets. So my observation was rightly correct. Well done me.

So we started to walk. I previously mentioned in one of my text "Let's just meet at Waterloo station at 7pm then walk there." I originally wanted to go to Sketch restaurant but we had to change plans and just see where we'd up around West End because I didn't book tables enough in advance.

"So where are we going?" He asked

"There's a restaurant that I want to try around Soho. It's Lebanese. Do you like any cuisine?"

"Yeah I'm good for anything."

"I wanted to go to this restaurant Sketch just off Regents Street but like I said they were fully booked so maybe we'll just go around the area and see what we fancy. I hope you don't mind walking." I added.

"No, it's cool, I don't mind. Do you know where we're going?" He asked as I pondered for a second which exit to take.

"Yeah. Let's take the scenic route." I gestured towards exit 7.

As we made our way out. We chatted the usual "Did you just come from work?"

"Yeah, I thought I was going to be late but thankfully I just made it on time."

"What do you do? You do fashion right?" He checks.

"Haha. Yes and no. My day job involves..." Blah de Blah

At this point I'm not going to narrate all our conversation, specially the personal ones, this will just reveal to much about us. Maybe I will elaborate more at some point.

We went through towards the Shell building and down the stairs.

"Do you know where were going?" He checks again.

"Yes, I do!" I thought boy don't worry, this is a turf that I'm very familiar with.

So as we turned right around the corner we was greeted by the majestic lights of the London Eye and and we walked across the park which is always beautiful to be around in the evening. We then crossed over the Waterloo bridge walk way, Westminster side, which again if he paid attention this is a great spot to look over the River Thames and see both the Parliament and London Eye. At this point I think we were just busy conversing to even notice the scene but I think it's always nice to have beautiful surroundings to tantalize your subconscious.

We chatted about this and that. Family, our background etc.

"You have a bit of an accent. Where's that from?"

"Haha. What does it sound like?!" I pretended to perplexedly asked.

Unfortunately I have this annoying habit that when I become a little nervy I have a certain twang or accent when I speak. Urgh, I seriously don't know how this computes in my system!

"A little bit Australian..." He pinpoints.

"I think I do."
I lied! 'I think I do'?! What a reply. No- you do not!

"Well I have an aunt in Australia that I get influenced from or sometimes I get told I have a bit of an American accent or South African over the phone!" I blabbed somewhere along those lines whilst trying at this point to easily convert back to my normal British accent!

So we walked and talked. He was so sweet when I was trying to adjust my coat and scarf he offered "Do you want me to hold anything?"

"Yes please, here.." I handed him my handbag. I thought my 'gosh he looks too cute holding that.' I kept my coat just hanging on my shoulder as I took back my bag and thanked him. He checked again "Do you want me to hold that?"

"No, it's okay thank you." I made such a reply to obviously show my independence and that I can carry things myself! For a brief moment I thought about letting him but there was seriously no need to on this occasion.

"Sorry, I just get too warm easily!" was my excuse from awkwardly adjusting myself. Which I do get warm too easily and did not want to start sweating instantly.

So we crossed the river, walked past Trafalgar Sq, through Leicester Square where we almost lost each other within the crowds of tourist.

Around Trafalgar after talking about our families and background, I asked one of the taboo question.

"So how old are you?" Already knowing the answer to this from his profile of course but I just wanted to make sure it's stated true because mine isn't, I'm a year younger on it.

"I'm 23."
And he quickly followed with "And how old are you?"

"I'm 31."
We briefly giggled at touching base about our age gap.
"So you're an old bird!" He adds. I thought- Ha, the cheek. Yeah I know, C******, thanks.

We then walked through China town and into Soho. I was looking for Yala Yala restaurant which was at some small side street. During those moments I was engrossed with my conversation with him that I was loosing my sense of direction and I was adamant not to look at my phone map. I did eventually see the restaurant but it looked very busy outside and I did not want to make us queue up so I just changed the situation and said
"Okay, are you hungry? Let's just pick a place."

And we ended up at Bills restaurant which was okay in the end.

We ate and shared a bottle of red wine. We spoke more about ourselves.

"I want to be famous." He describes his ambition.

"You do!?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well good luck with that. I don't." I cheekily smiled at him.

"I don't so much want to be famous. I want to be successful. Like Richard Branson."
"I want to have a few villas by the time I'm thirty and have all my friends over." He smiles widely at the prospect.

"Wow. You're very ambitious." I replied. Which I admire from such a young age.

"I'd just like to be able to cater for my family when I start having one."

Noted this to self and thought this is a great prospect. I see potential in this boy, haha!

I asked him more about his business start-up with his dad and something that he is currently having to sort out some legal issues with his previous employer.
"But I'm not overly worried about it."
He seemed somewhat reserved with going into more detail.

"It's pretty boring stuff." He concluded.

"It sounds promising." I looked at him with a wry smile and noting all this down.

I also mentioned about my current work endeavours which is also very promising but I did explain to him about me taking a break from my fashion stuff because of a recent 'quarter life crisis'. I tried to amuse him on this which I'm not sure how he took it specially seeing that he has a very ambitious head and I wonder if he judged my nonchalant take on pursuing ambitious goals.
"I'm in no rush." I added.

We had good eye contact and smiled a lot throughout.

At one point, we were just starring directly at each other which prompted him to smile and say

"What!?"

"Nothing." I replied, widened my eyes, smiled coyly and looked away.

He is certainly cute. I wonder what he thinks of me? Does he like me?

We had a banter about our age gap too which was refreshing.

"What music are you into?" He asked.

"Well, do you know this artist?..." I mentioned a few of my current favourites. He didn't know them apart from M.I.A.

"Ah yeah, she's the one who did Paperplanes?"

"Yeah but that's like her most commercial song that everyone knows about."

As for the rest he hadn't even heard of them. Not even FKA Twigs to my surprise!

He laughed. "No I haven't!"

"You need to check her out! She's pretty cool. I seem to just have all women in my playlist. I'm all pro feminist like that." I jested. He laughed.

He mentioned a couple of things which is so terrible of me that I now have forgotten but I remember that he is into drum and bass and house music which I made a brief comparison to Michael.
He also mentioned a couple of groups

"I don't know them, sorry. Maybe it's way too modern for my years." I further jested.

So I couldn't finish my food, my appetite was ruined due to some butterflies taking up space in my stomach. Afterwards we decided to go to Sketch to go for some drinks anyway.

"I think I actually have been there before with friends. It's quite expensive." He recollects.

"I know they are a tad but the interior is so cool. They have a room that's all marshmallow pink; very West Anderson."

But he didn't seem too keen.

"Hmm. I don't like that stuff, my parents like all that sorts."

"What!? You have to, it's so kitsch! I love it" I tried my best to persuade him.

Wrapping up our meal, our bill then arrives but he gentlemanly gestures he got it.

"Thank you, that's very kind of you." I replied.

"It's okay. You can pay for the drinks!" He cheekily responds.

So out we came, he helps me put on my coat which he kindly took from me and placed behind his chair when we first arrived.

We walked back to Picadilly Circus towards Regents Street. We stopped in the centre for a moment, he gazes up and admires the view.

"Wow it's really nice here with all the lights!"

"Yeah it is." I replied whilst also looking up at him. Geez J***, how cheesy.

Y'know, London is a very beautiful city, there's always a corner somewhere that is quite awe inspiring. I personally love its mix of history and modernity.

Well as we entered Sketch it was definitely a Michelin restaurant and bar. We went through the David Shrigley room with all its pink glory. I can't wait to actually be going there for lunch with S** when she comes for a short trip in May, who by the way is the reason I'm visiting California for the next couple of weeks. Funnily enough she was over in London just over a week ago on a business trip and my rendezvous with this C****** boy happened around then. I updated her of course and she was not impressed by my callous shenanigans, understandably so. Don't do it kids. It can be a very costly mistake so always put a cap on! That date I shall cover later.

Anyway, so we enter the restaurant.

"Welcome guys." quipped the man at the reception.

"Do you have reservation?"

"No, were here for drinks." I replied.

"Okay well, we have two bars. You can go to the Glade or hang in The Gallery or through there to the East Bar... Take your pick. Either one is good."

"Great, thank you."

As you go through the curtains you have the woodlands on your left which is The Glade and on the right was The Gallery so we went through there where Shrigley's work is present.

"There's a room right at the back that we went to last time and they had these amazing toilets. Let's go there." C****** ushered the way. This was the East Bar.

We went through these white perspex doors and you're immediately greeted by two cascading stairs from both sides that lead upstairs to the toilets that were made of large egg shaped cubicles which were randomly placed across the top floor. At first I didn't know these were the loos until I used them later on. Everything upstairs was white including the floor and stairs, it was very futuristic, in contrast the cubicles played out the sounds of nature. The one I used was as if you were in the thickness of the Amazonian Forest whilst doing your deed, it felt quite tranquil.

So as you enter this back room, right in front of you is almost like a little private cove that you step down into. It was dimmed lights which made it relatively dark, very contrasting to the outside, there was a mini DJ booth at the back and the mini bar is a lowered floor situated in the centre of the cove and all around it are the seating area. So we settled in one corner and ordered a couple of beers. There was only a few other people there. And yeah it was damn right expensive, £8 for a bottle of beer! After one of those I was beginning to relax and he relaxed too, we settled nicely into the sofa and chatted some more. At this point we had a bit more of a relaxed attitude with our bodies, I could have easily been tactile with him but something stopped me which was The Voice of Reason "Stop it J***, this is your first night out. Compose yourself, you're the grown up!" Ha right. We talked some more, I can't remember much on what we discussed here but we had only a couple of beers until we decided to head home.

It was around 11pm at this point and we took the Victoria line together to Brixton, where he lives.
"I'll go there with you and take a bus home!"
I stated the fact that I was taking the bus home as I didn't want to make him think I'm initiating an invite. It was literally the best option for me to go home plus it would've been nice to spend more time with him too.

So we sat closely side by side on the tube. At some point he made a comment about his hands.
"I don't like my hands."
He held it up; it was very long and slender.

Yes, I know an innuendo came to mind, big hand equals.. y'know... but this is not always the case girls, from me and my friends experiences anyway!! Haha.

"There's nothing wrong with your hands."
I assured him, but right there and then I found myself placing my hand on top of his. I think I just wanted to make the size comparison.

"I've got tiny hands" I added.
In that brief moment I wanted to interlace my hands with his and hold tight but I just brushed it away. This journey seemed to be a bit of a blur, maybe I can't remember much else because I was tired and a little tipsy, I don't know, but the journey seemed to have zoomed quickly from Oxford Street. We got off and as we got out into the open air he asked a questioned which got my butterflies a-fluttering.

"So what are you doing next weekend?" Aww he is asking me out again! Wow, this is really nice I thought. It's always so nice to be asked out again. Always.

"Yeah, I think I'm free then." I smiled at him.

"Cool. Well, let's do something next weekend."

Close by to the entrance of the station was my bus stop.

"Well, here's my bus stop!"

"How do you know?" He asked

"I do come to Brixton now and again, y'know." Was my explanation.

"I just live off this street. And this is the way to the market." He gestured literally opposite us.

"Cool. We still have to try out the place you mentioned."

"Yeah we'll get to do that." He assures me.

During our Facebook convo we established where we lived and he mentioned about Brixton market and all their amazing restaurants that I must try.
"There's this Japanese restaurant that's absolutely bangin'!" Was his main recommendation.

So as he waited at the bus stop with me he stood tall right in front of me and asked

"So can I get a kiss?"
My goodness, how very very sweet.

I didn't actually say anything back. I just smiled and reached up to make the kiss.

"The-One!" Exclaimed my friend M*** when I retold the story after she asked how my date went.

So we kissed, very lightly and I think he seemed shy. I wanted a full on kiss but from gauging his moves during those first few seconds it was pretty light. By that I mean, it was just our lips caressing but I slipped a cheeky Frenchy in there. We smiled, parted and moments later he lits up a cigarette. We waited there for a bit which was a little awkward because after that kiss we just stood there, well he did whilst smoking and I was sat down. I noticed he smokes his roll ups pretty quickly, like in one go?! Quick and deep. I was also aware of this distance between us and I didn't like it so I grabbed his jacket pocket and pulled him closer to me and kinda cosied close to him. Only a minute or two passed and my bus was approaching.

"Here's my bus."
As I stood up we leaned again for a kiss. More proper this time, but shorter because we were pushed for time. The bus pulled over and quickly had to draw from each other. I wanted to kiss him longer and more passionately of course. So I went, saying goodbye as I got on the bus, the driver kindly waited a little. I took a seat, I looked backed but he was nowhere to be seen, like a ghost.

So how did I feel after? I don't know, it was definitely nice I guess, but not heart thumping. Yet.

So that was my first date with C******.

The second date went quite differently!