JP's first poem

Poem 1 and our first hang out:

These are the words I received last summer from a guy who is truly a charmer, behind them is an image of his room where we watched a film and ate his homemade chocolate torte.

So yeah that was last summer and I was still with my boyfriend then when I met up with him and we hanged out! Now I completely did not see this as a date by the way as I do go out with people a lot even just one to one with guys -as friends- but have to admit that day felt a little more like a date towards the end!? I shall tell you why...

Haaa oh my. 

Okay so we flirted via messages after our initial random meet at this gig. So I think it was a couple of weeks after that that this day happened.

The actual whole reason of me meeting him is that I forgot my camera case in his car after dropping me off all the way from Brighton! I needed it back and so we arranged a meet and thought why not make a day of it. So in the end he arranged to go to his friends exhibition. It was a very very hot summers day. He needed to go grocery shopping first so I accompanied him to Tesco and also he wanted to cook dinner if I had time to stay around, which happened and he was a great cook even though he is a vegan and I'm quite the opposite!! He also made fresh apple and ginger juice! I was impressed with that too. And he made chocolate torte which was the whole intention of me going to his in the end to try it out. 

I thought why not. So our day started with him meeting me at the station, we went grocery shopping then quickly dropped the stuff at his. Made juice with his own juicer before we went to the exhibition, hanged out and walked around the whole art fair event which was the Hackney Wicked. 

JP is weird in a way that he socialises. I thought there were times he was a little timid which unfortunately also reflected on me! Or more he was weird in the way that he would wait for my reaction on certain things he would say... I don't know whether this is some sort of trying to understand me and checking if we gelled in thoughts or mind frame. He would sometimes have that straight cold stare after questioning me on something, it was a tad off putting and I found myself kinda shortening my answers and my words didn't flow. That reason and also that maybe I kinda liked him where I always feel awkward when that feeling is involved! 

Anyway after the whole Hackney Wicked tour we went back to his to have dinner and to watch a movie. He cooked well like I said. What did he make now... some sort of vegan paella?! It was certainly refreshing to watch a man cook well when G**** didn't really show much interest. He made me try it whilst he cooked to check if it was tasty which it was. We ate and chatted and then I tried his homemade chocolate torte for dessert. 

I met one of his flat mates R*** whom I think was up herself a bit, who knows but I just got that rude vibe after having met her a couple of times. 

I helped him clean up and wash the dishes afterwards. It was all so homely and overly comfortable for a first meet with a guy whom I randomly got to know two weeks prior to this day!

And then we watched a Shane Meadows movie, A Room for Romeo Brass. I had agreed previously that if I had time I wouldn't mind watching a movie. Now I hadn't realised that we would be watching this in his bedroom in which the photo above was taken. I thought until this point this was all innocent and then when I was invited to his room to watch a movie this is when I was thinking -hold on, should I really be doing this as I am with G****!? And the 'oh-oh', G****'s face kept popping up and warning bells rang.

But then nothing is happening or has happened so nothing to feel guilty about so I was keeping a close eye on where this was taking. 

Now I must admit I still hadn't at this point mentioned that I was with someone!!! I know, I know. My silliness but the conversation never came up and I really didn't want to sound big headed and say out of the blue "By the way I've got a boyfriend." and then for me to look silly when he had no intention in hitting on me in the first place. But now come to think of it I should've because he obviously was and I obviously was towards him after all the exchanges of flirty messages and the whole thing just led to being misled. Well in a way I enjoyed the flirtiness and attention so perhaps my decision in not mentioning was also that I didn't want it to stop.

Also I am very very bad at reading signs when it concerns these things until it becomes obvious like for example when during the film he asked

"Can I put my arm around you?"

In which I replied 

"Umm. No." A straight refusal with shock and horror but in a quite nice but awkward way!? :-/ and only really at this point the penny dropped...

        Oh deary me. 

Sooo then that made everything awkward! And we watched the remainder of the film cross armed, feeling weird, not knowing what to do whilst sitting on his bed. Yes ladies and gents that was our heat of passion!! I killed the fire! 

Well y'know I just couldn't at this point, as much as I liked him too I couldn't do that to G****. I think my self control is pretty good. 

And as soon as the film finished it was literally like 

"Okay time for me to go." We got ourselves ready. I thought the film was okay, a bit depressing but the usual from Meadows. Then he dropped me off home to the station. We awkwardly hugged and I thanked him afterwards. I would like to tell you exactly what was exchanged via texts but unfortunately I lost my phone last Friday with all the previous convos we've had and I've no reference to go back to now which is real shame. Just gonna try my hardest to remember...

Also during the Hackney Wicked hanging out he spoke to his sister on the phone and also his dad. At one point during his conversation with his sister I guess she asked what he was up to and JP replied

"I'm out with my friend looking at some exhibition."

"My friend J****... oh no not that J****. Another one. Haha." JP smiles at me.

"My sister says 'Hi'"

"Hiya." I repied.

"She says 'hi'" he says back on the phone. 

Their conversation lasted a bit and at this point I kinda left him to it as I walked around this exhibition and I spoke to this guy P**** who I knew from work. He was the camera man during this talk that was happening at the time and I managed to briefly have a chat with him and when JP was done I introduced them. So that was a nice random meet because I noticed then that he hadn't been at work for sometime, it was because he left and now focusing on his filming and photography work. 

Like I said JP also spoke to his dad a couple of times them arranging something which I thought was sweet that he was close to his family. 

He also showed me this childrens book he made where the characters featured are the soft toys he had in his room. That made me really smile as it was very well done with full illustrations and everything. As his job he is a nanny and tells me that the two photos of kids that was on his shelf were the children he looked after.

He also played a couple of tunes on his guitar whilst I was there. 

YES ALL THIS WAS CHARMING RIGHT!? This is why I call him JP Charmer. I am wary of his advances though I still couldn't resist falling for his charms. Since those first days of flirting I did let it go on but I'm always questioning his authenticity everytime he gives me compliments and the more time flies I notice something dodgy but then he would come out with something nice that I ask again if it was genuine. He is difficult to understand... a mystery. Hahaa he did call me a "mysterious little lady" once. I suppose I too am guilty of sending very mixed signals.