It was disappointing. Majorly disappointing!
So here is what happened...
I decided to grow some balls and thought this will be the time to tell him everything! Well that didn't go to plan, not even close! After pondering in the day I finally decided to make my way around 10:30pm.
As I made my way and half way in my journey I texted
"Guess what I'm on my way to see you!! Tell me whether I should turn back round or not..."
Well basically he says no.
"Soz I need a good night sleep J****. I was in hospital Saturday morning still in lots of pain. Better to text me first especially if it's late :-)"
My first initial thought was... 'I thought you were getting yourself checked out in hospital on Monday when I tried to arrange a meet with you that was your excuse! D***h***.' and 'It's not even that late! You've called and wanting me much later before!"
As a nice person that I am of course I didn't say those so in return I said
"Pah there goes my attempt to be romantic! I'm nearby anyway. I might just drop something off but I won't disturb you."
No reply. The word 'b**tard' crossed my mind.
Well I stuck true to my words, I ended up going to his and I posted his buttons through his letter box which by then I realised I didnt have anything to put it all in so I sacrificed my see-through pencil case and so it was now there for the rest of his household to see!
The last set of documented buttons he will receive!
So my goodness all that way for nothing! As I approached his house I was naturally nervous. Whether to call him, make him aware I was there or not. I noted his bedroom light was off. For a moment I felt angry so I only passed by across the other side of the road and carried on walking towards the bus stop that would have taken me home.
The bus came a couple of minutes later but I didn't hail it not even when it stopped for me I didn't get on! I thought 'you know fuck it, I should at least do something' so I walked back and as I crossed the road a lovely grey cat was sat on his front wall and greeted me with a meow (I love cats by the way and this made me happy!). I watched his bedroom window for a while but no use as I was very disappointed already so I walked towards his doorway and the cat kept me company as I fixed a few things in the dark whilst it was drizzling!! (Bloody hell how typically cheesy is this sounding!?- but seriously this is what happened!)
The cat just kept on meowing and there was me tryin to shhs it! Part of me really wanted the cat to carry on so JP could hear and for him to look out of his window intrigued and see me there in all my loved up glory!! But nay. Hhahahaaa no chance... romance is dead with him by the looks of it.
I then wrote this which read...
"THE KEY TO HAPPINESS AND LOVE IS FREEDOM.
I WISH YOU'D STOP BUILDING WALLS AROUND YOU SO YOU
CAN EXPLORE THIS BEAUTIFUL VIEW!"
PS. Get well soon.I pushed it through his postbox but making sure it got caught hanging on the flap as it would've made a hell of a noise if it dropped! And so I walked away with much disappointment. Said goodbye to the kitty cat. Wishing now all that time I should've taken a pic or two!
On my way home. I texted
"Just dropped some stuff off. Damn forgot a couple of lil things though. And a lovely grey cat who wouldn't keep quite kept me company. Goodnight. Sleep tight. X"
No reply.
This afternoon he finally replied!!
"Hi J***** :-) I got my parcel today... thank you very much for the buttons I can't believe how many there are!"
That's it??! Really!?!?
"You're welcome. Found 5 more today when I'm trying not to."
"Ah trying not do something only brings round more of the same!"
I didn't reply.
Anyway I've had time to reflect on it and now I'm still disappointed. 'Never mind' I said to myself 'at least I tried...'
But today buttons freaking kept reminding me!! A 15 minute walk from Royal Festival Hall to Foyles Cafe and back again I stumbled across 5 buttons which I have anally put together here....
Five is my best record in a day and if by chance I come one more by the end of today I would've beaten my record. On all the days that I have become disinterested in JP they pop up!
The first button I didn't take a pic but it was found on the stairs where I stood to take a photo of this installation and from that view point it says 'ASK WHY' which I thought was cool and never noticed before!
Also as I was taking my camera out of my bag to take a pic of one of the buttons and when I turned around to take a better angle I noticed another one where I was standing! This is an example of how great I am at finding buttons! They just pop up on my path!!
By the way I'm not usually this sad... I've never taken these many pics of buttons before. I happen to have had a free stroll and had my camera with me!!
Yesterday I found only one and it was a big red one which I forgot to add in the parcel that I gave to JP last night plus a few more including this little red one that was still in my oyster card holder!
Big red button
Small red button
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