To The Man

Dearest lost child. I can no longer pretend and say with honesty that you will ever find your way home anytime soon. It has been my fault to play on the romanticism of what life is about and having given you so much free will and courage to the point that you have ignored the sign posts of the wise ones. For now carry on making your path but remember old ones are always there to guide you. Inquisitive yet a stubborn head, I can see you have a lot of learning to do.  Everything is right in this world so you have nothing to fear and there's nothing left for you to do so until you remember that I know you're not truly lost. I would like us to spend good time together so hasten a little and don't spend time wondering on your own. Let your heart guide you as I am still here where the part you have yet not explored.  

Your Mother, Nature

2nd tea meeting...

He wanted honey. 

Do I deny when things are calling. I have four things that governs my life. 
In no particular order...
Heart - Mind - Spirit - Universe

Mind and Heart are mostly in my control.
Spirit and Universe are almost the little miracles that comes across my way that I have little say on its course it acts as guidance or hints in life. 

Right this moment I am really happy being single, I want to be and I am and I'm enjoying it. Only lately I am getting lots of interests and actually being asked out! Universe is this to test me? 

I love your randomness. 

As I'm just updating this which I rarely do and at this moment JP whats app me "Got more gloves" ...interesting. Right on time to remind me he is there when I start to forget about him.

As this blog is about my heart experience I shall tell whats been happening.

In this particular stage of life I thought I'd only entertain those who I more than just like. So I had a 'date' with a lovely guy called A....... We never mentioned the word date as such but I was asked out for some tea after meeting him randomly a few weeks back at a fashion event, wanting to "make it up" to me for missing each other at this Converse event he invited me to and so not surprisingly we have a few people in common. We spent nearly four hours at this cafe chatting about each other, getting to know, family life and also Love! He is young- 7 years younger!! Haa Didn't think he was that young.

Very mature for his age though and freakishly tall. Another big gap between us. 

In our convo he says he likes older girls and petite girls- hint hint. Had some flirtation comments going etc etc but I think thats it... 

He told me he currently loves this girl in New York that went nowhere. I told him a little bit about my recent endeavour and my recent huge relationship that both ended no where.

One of the last subject we touched on was Signs- "how do you read signs?" he asked. We laughed and looked at each other both owning up that we are unwise when it came to this. I wanted to say "Is this whole situation here a hint we like each other??" but no.

He didn't say this either.

Anyway it was lovely and I don't know what to make of it as I never freaking know what to do when guys show interest because now I'm more guarded than ever!  

He is cute, aesthetically he is someone I'd go for, we shall see how this unfolds. :D

Button & Glove Exchange

Here are a couple of stories on my lost button / glove adventures.
A week or so ago I was on my way to stay over at my friends house, on my way there I found a glove at a station. I picked it up and went about my business and entered through the ticket barriers. The moment I was about to transcend down the escalators I hear a man voice out to one of the train staff "Sorry can you let me out again, I've lost my glove..." I quickly looked back and saw him holding the other pair to the one I just picked up!

My heart raised paced. I pondered what to do. Should I keep quite and keep the glove or give it back to him. Initial thought was to keep it but my morals kicked in and as I looked at the lovely grey argyle designed knitted glove my senses came to me and remembered why I started collecting them in the first place; that was because I lost two of my favourite pairs once and could only wish then that someone would have handed them back to me. 
So I waited down by the escalators for the man and as soon as he reached me I stopped him and asked "Sorry did you loose a glove?" waving the glove in front of him. "Yeah I did! Ah thank you! Where did you find it?" 
"Found it upstairs. I heard you looking for it earlier."
At this point I felt like I should explain myself to how and why I picked it up. I briefly mentioned my story and he just smiled at me perhaps with a little look of puzzlement, well he was just happy to have it back. He boarded his train, we smiled and waved each other goodbye. 
I was a little sad that I was one down but was mostly happy to reunite it with the owner and to make things even better at the bottom of the escalators I found a cute white baby mitten! So happy all around.

With all this excitement the first person I thought of telling the story to was JP. So a moment later as I got onto another station I started writing my text message to him and whilst standing next to an office staff room I quickly looked up through the window I noticed inside that there was a button sitting on top of the desk! OMG I thought I have to get that, this was exciting!!

Well I managed to get it :) when the staff came in I tapped on the window whilst he was on his phone and I signalled for the button. Without hesitation he gave it to me! Moments later he came out so I thanked him and he mentioned "It came off my trousers yesterday actually." 

"Ah cool, I collect lost buttons. Do you want to keep it then?" "Nah you can have it!"

Fantastic. Another one added in my little jar now full of buttons which is now with JP because I gave it to him a few days ago when we met up in Soho where I invited him to a small film screening of Still.

Oh and he gave me some gloves. Oh and on that day we met I found 8 buttons! Personal best record to date. Funnily enough I was hoping to find eight that day, coming across the last one whilst with him.

Change of perspective. Above was my previous heading. Since mentioning this blog to the one who is responsible for its very existence- it is no longer mystical. 
HIYA!
And the fact that I felt comfortable mentioning it meant I no longer felt embarrassed about how I felt as I knew it wasn't going anywhere so it was my way of saying 'this is how I truly felt about you.' and yes welcome to my insanely weird obsessive nature! 
Unfortunately my thoughts on this matter from now on will be hiding in the crevice of my heart. 

SO now I shall see how this heart of mine develops in the coming year. I have a lot of love still to give no matter how often it is drained or toyed with. "You're churning the wrong engine." was an advice from a friend. I think she's right. 
There are just so many beautiful things that are worth appreciating in this world that you can't help falling for- so why dwell and be disheartened with the bad.